How To Tell A Girl That Her Makeup Looks Bad

This was also published here on The Huffington Mail.

"You're ugly," said the little girl as she stared me downward in an elevator. "Excuse you," her mother exclaimed with a mix of horror and embarrassment.

The mother began to apologise profusely, to which I only shrugged and smiled. "That'due south ok," I said equally the elevator doors opened and I exited in my wheelchair.

Meh! That was nothing and I've certainly heard far worse over the years. Besides, she was a child and anything 'unlike' e'er provoked curiosity in children (and a niggling unfiltered commentary).

If I'd had more than time I would have said what I frequently say to children who question my physical appearance and use words like ugly, gross or weird. I explain that it'south just the way I am. I might wait different from other people but that doesn't make it a bad thing.

In many means, however, she was right – the young girl. Past conventional standards, I am ugly. By conventional definitions of beauty, my imperfect torso is littered with "ugly flaws" (to quote a contempo television advertisment). But as I've said before inthis weblog for Huffington Post Women, screw convention!

Then this (in a higher place) is me. Proudly imperfect at a recent photoshoot. Where many women would flaunt cleavage and flawless décolletage, I'k sporting scars from a number of procedures, including open up heart surgery and a trachea ventilation tube that allowed a machine to exhale for me when I was in a blackout.

I've as well got implants in my chest. No, not those ones! A metal plate, wires and screws holding my sternum together.

I'm the start to acknowledge that these scars on my breast and neck are minor compared to many other scars and amputations on the rest of my body. They are also pocket-size compared to those of many beautiful women around the world with prominent scars from tragedy.

The scars on my chest take dramatically faded over the years (and the lighting on our photoshoot washed them out likewise). But that wasn't the case a couple of years ago when I came out of infirmary after surgery. I was getting married in simply over six months and didn't desire the inflamed carmine gash on my breast to be seen.

Similarly, as a pimply faced teenager with braces, I was embarrassed by my acne scars and would never have permit someone photo them.

Today I don't care who sees my badges from battle. I vesture my scars with pride. They make me who I am and each one tells a story.

So what do y'all recall makes a adult female unattractive? Her blemished skin? Messy pilus? Unfashionable apparel? Nope, none of that – and the answer might surprise you.

I had a very interesting conversation with a makeup artist at a recent photoshoot.

This very experienced makeup artist had been in the manufacture for years and her makeup brushes had swept across the faces of women around the world. She'd seen a multifariousness of female forms, including supermodels, Brides and the 'everyday' adult female (like me!).

As a makeup creative person, she'd seen countless physical flaws and imperfections. Except that these women weren't flawed or imperfect – merely different from the cookie-cutter mannequins. Equally I'd wanted to tell the young girl in the elevator, just because someone looks different, doesn't brand it a bad thing.

In a higher place: Another photoshoot #perfectlyimperfect – Inability isn't as common in popular culture as information technology is in society.

Over the years, this makeup creative person had been chosen upon to erase all evidence of ugly, physical flaws. On numerous occasions, she'd been asked to apply actress concealer to scars, blemishes and uneven skin tones. Non a trouble!

Yet in that location were some women who she couldn't help with makeup.

Those really unattractive women whose ugliness couldn't be concealed with an extra coat of mascara or chroma.

The earth'south most unattractive women all had i affair in common. They all had an ugly attitude.

Selfishness looks disgusting, bitterness looks repulsive and there is nothing cute or sexy about a lack of cocky-respect.

Nosotros all have ugly days!

I daresay we've all been guilty of unattractive behaviour. Be information technology on social media or out in the real world. I'1000 not perfect and I'll admit that I've had ugly outbursts. I looked horrendous the other week but it had nothing to do with my missing leg, that pimple or bad hair. I was only being a cranky little b*tch!

My friends know they can come to me and vent to become all that ugliness out of their system and they've done the same for me. Only there'southward a big difference between existence a cranky moo-cow over java and permanently entrenched, ugly behaviour.

What the research says

One time I got home from the photoshoot I wanted to explore the topic further. What did the residual of the online globe call up ugly women looked like?

Dr Robert Tornambe is a New York plastic surgeon and Author of the bestselling volume, The Beauty Caliber. During his 25-year career as a plastic surgeon, he has worked with thousands of women and spent countless hours contemplating definitions of beauty.

In support of what my makeup artist and I had observed, Dr Tornambe says that while physical traits do play a role in dazzler, what makes any woman truly attractive is based largely on confidence, charisma and personality.

If y'all thought a maxim like "a beautiful personality is what counts" was just a tired cliche, think once again. In an commodity about how your attitude can make yous appear more than or less physically bonny, Psychology Today cited a number of studies where the conclusion was that a bad mental attitude can make yous appear less bonny.

Some other study constitute narcissism, bigotry and a lack of bulldoze or ambition to rank in the Your Tango Top-10 list of the traits men found virtually unattractive in a woman. In another article, intelligence and wearing LESS makeup were 2 ways that a woman could appear more than bonny.

So when it comes to dazzler, the bottom line is, well… it'south not nearly your bottom. Or your hair, your weight, your skin, your scars or the label on your pocketbook. In fact, spending too much time obsessing over these things tin can have quite the reverse upshot.

It's time to roar! Conviction is gorgeous and courage is breathtaking. What practice you call back is an incredibly beautiful or sexy personality trait?